Te Mahi Tika

Some choices are visible, celebrated, and applauded. Others happen quietly, without fanfare, in spaces where only you will ever know what it cost or what it meant. These are the moments when we act simply because it is tika – the right thing to do.

In Te Ao Māori, tika (rightness, justice, correctness) works alongside pono (truth, integrity) and aroha (love, compassion) as guiding values within whanaungatanga – the network of relationships that binds us to each other. These three values are also central to the Dynamics of Whanaungatanga (DoW), a values-based model developed by Pā Hēnare Tate, used in the treatment of Māori and in guiding relational ethics.

Honouring What is Right – Mercy Hospice

When I worked at Mercy Hospice, the Māori Cultural Liaison and I – in my role as Spiritual Advisor – facilitated All Souls Day, the day of remembrance for those who had passed. I only had the privilege of running it once, just before I left my role, but it remains a defining moment for me.

We honoured the tikanga around remembrance, creating space that respected the spiritual and cultural significance of the day. We didn’t over-explain our process or seek approval from those who might not understand. We knew, in our bones, it was tika.

Sometimes doing the right thing is beyond explanation – it is an act that honours the unseen, the sacred. When we lean into that knowing, we trust that integrity doesn’t always need an audience.

Boundaries Without Over-Explaining

I see a similar truth with my clients today, particularly when they are learning to set boundaries. Many feel the urge to explain their “no” in detail, hoping the other person will understand or approve. But as I tell them: your “no” doesn’t require the other person’s comprehension to be valid.

If you are a people-pleaser or fawner – a trauma response that seeks safety through appeasement – this can be uncomfortable. You may need to self-soothe after saying no. But that soothing is for you, not for convincing the other person. Your boundaries are part of your tika. They are an act of aroha for yourself.

When the Universe Holds the Boundary With You

Sometimes doing the right thing is about holding a boundary for yourself – even before life tests it. This term in my Awaken the Wisdom Within programme, I had already decided to take a break this weekend. I knew I needed the space, and I planned accordingly.

Today, only two of the six clients who were booked actually arrived. As a colleague of mine says, “I love the cancellation fairies.” It felt like the universe had rearranged itself to give me exactly what I needed – not through guilt, not through pushing anyone away, but simply because the intention was already set.

When we get clear on our needs and communicate them – even silently to ourselves or to the universe – the boundaries often hold without us having to defend them. This too is tika: honouring our wellbeing, trusting that the unseen supports us, and allowing space for what restores us.

Tika, Pono, Aroha in Advocacy – Through the Dynamics of Whanaungatanga

Recently, a rangatahi reached out to me for help. She had moved to a new area, meaning I could not meet with her kanohi ki te kanohi (face to face). Still, my professional ethics under NZAC – and my own values – meant I would advocate for her.

The Dynamics of Whanaungatanga (DoW), developed by Pā Hēnare Tate, describes tika, pono, and aroha as essential in maintaining the integrity of relationships. In this situation, those values weren’t just abstract principles – they were lived practice.

I am not being paid for this mahi. That is not the point. It is tika – ensuring she receives the right support. It is pono – standing in truth and integrity. And it is aroha – caring deeply for her wellbeing as she navigates a difficult path. This is whanaungatanga in action: intentional, values-led, and grounded in a model that honours mana and connection.

Working Together – Acknowledging ACC

One of the things that made this possible was ACC’s compassionate approach to sensitive claims. In my experience, they have been responsive, humane, and genuinely committed to helping clients. Together, we navigated the system in a way that honoured the client’s mana and upheld the values of tika, pono, and aroha.

The Wisdom We Carry

My father once said to me:

“Hell hath no fury like a vested interest masquerading as a moral principle.” – Barber Conable

At the time, I didn’t fully realise how true it was. But recently, I was reminded of it in a situation that echoed his words. When my father visited, I asked him if he remembered telling me. He couldn’t recall the source, so we turned to ChatGPT to find it – Barber Conable, 1922–2003, U.S. Congressman, Chairman of the World Bank.

It was one of those small, beautiful moments you only ever have once with someone you love – the kind you remember for a lifetime. I’m lucky to have my father, his insight, and the wisdom he has passed to me. They are a large part of why I can do the work I do.

That quote reminds me that moral principles are everywhere – some genuine, some twisted to serve vested interests. Doing the right thing means discerning between the two, and standing in tika even when the noise of other agendas tries to drown it out.

He Whakatauākī to Hold Close

Nāu te rourou, nāku te rourou, ka ora ai te iwi.With your food basket and my food basket, the people will thrive.

Doing the right thing uplifts everyone involved. Sometimes it is seen, often it is unseen. Sometimes it can be explained, other times it cannot. But in each case, it strengthens mana, preserves integrity, and reminds us that right action is its own reward.

We act not for thanks, not for recognition – but because it is tika.

Closing Reflection

In the end, the work of tika, pono, aroha is as much about clarity as it is about courage. My father’s words remind me to look closely at the principles I hear around me – to ask whether they are grounded in genuine integrity or in self-interest disguised as virtue. That discernment matters. It allows me to choose the path that upholds mana, protects the vulnerable, and honours the relationships I am part of. This is the heart of doing the right thing: to act from a place that is clean in intention, true in spirit, and full of compassion – even when no one is watching.