Why We Rush: Understanding Trauma, Recovery, and the Urge to Move Fast

When someone gives up an addiction — whether it’s alcohol, substances, pornography, food, or a behaviour they’ve relied on for years — something powerful happens inside the nervous system. A kind of awakening. A crack of light. A surge of momentum that says: “Right, let’s fix everything now. Let’s get to the finish line.”

If you’ve ever felt this in the early stages of healing, you’re not alone. And if you’re a practitioner or support person seeing this in someone you care for, it’s one of the most common — and misunderstood — phases of recovery.

At Hurihanga, I see it often. The desire to move fast isn’t a personal flaw. It’s not stubbornness, or impatience, or defiance. It’s a trauma pattern. One that makes perfect sense once you understand what the body is doing.

This blog explains why it happens — and offers a reflective journalling page to help you or your clients slow to a sustainable, safe pace.

Before we go further, it’s important to name something clearly:

Addiction isn’t just substances, alcohol, gambling, or pornography.It can also be an addiction to an attitude, a pattern, or a behaviour.We can be addicted to:

• overworking

• people‑pleasing

• hyper‑independence

• rescuing others

• chaos

• avoidance

• anger

• control

• staying busy

• emotional shutdown

Anything the nervous system uses repeatedly to cope — even if it looks socially acceptable — can become an addiction. And when we stop doing that behaviour, the same urgency, the same discomfort, and the same "move fast" pattern can appear.

Why the Urge to Rush Appears

1. A sudden surge of energy

When someone stops numbing, avoiding, or escaping, the nervous system gets clearer. For the first time in a long time, there is capacity.

This can feel like:

“I’m finally ready — let’s sort all of this out right now.”

This isn’t wrong — it’s a natural rebound of vitality.

2. The “fight–flight” response waking up

For many people with PTSD, the body has learned to survive by mobilising — and that mobilisation can show up in two ways: flight or fight.

Flight energy says:

“Keep moving. Don’t stop. Stay ahead of the danger.”

This looks like rushing, striving, urgency, overplanning, overfunctioning.

Fight energy says:

“Push harder. Force change. Attack the problem. Control everything.”

This can look like:

• frustration when things don’t move fast enough

• impatience with yourself or others

• trying to “muscle” your healing

• strong determination that has an edge of pressure

• intolerance for anything slow, uncertain, or messy

Fight energy isn’t anger at others — it’s the body trying to take control after years of feeling powerless.

When addictions fall away, both flight and fight energy often rise to the surface. They are not signs of failure — they are signs of an activated nervous system trying to find safety.

3. Fear of the present moment

Slowing down means feeling:

• the grief that’s been waiting

• the fear that lives in the body

• the shame that sits under the addiction

• the unmet needs

• the truth of what hurts

Of course the system tries to keep moving. Stillness can feel unsafe until we build the internal scaffolding to hold it.

4. Identity reconstruction at speed

Many people in early sobriety want to prove something:

• that they can do it

• that they won’t “fail” again

• that they can rebuild fast

• that they can make up for lost time

This urgency is rooted in hope, but also in shame. It’s the drive to skip the messy middle.

5. The illusion of readiness

I call this the false summit.

In the first few weeks without an addiction, the head feels clear — but the emotional body hasn’t caught up. The nervous system hasn’t stabilised. The trauma hasn’t integrated.

It’s like a horse who has suddenly stopped bolting — you feel the stillness and think you’re ready to ride at full speed again. But the body is still trembling underneath.

Pacing is the medicine.

Understanding the Urge to Rush — In Simple, Human Language

Before we explore this further, it’s important to understand that the drive to rush can emerge from two very different trauma pathways: the fight response and the flight response. Both can look like urgency, pressure, or pushing for the finish line — but they come from different nervous system strategies. Naming both gives us clarity, compassion, and a more precise pathway forward.

The Two Pathways That Create Urgency in Recovery

Before urgency appears — before the pushing, the rushing, the controlling, or the impulsive forward momentum — most people actually pass through a third state first: freeze.

A Missing but Crucial Part of the Story: Freeze Comes First

Many people with PTSD spend long periods in a freeze response. Freeze is the shutdown, the collapse, the numbness, the feeling of being stuck or immobile. It’s what happens when the nervous system feels trapped with no safe option.

Freeze says:

“I can’t fight this. I can’t run from this. So I’ll go still.”

But here’s the key:

The only way out of freeze is through mobilisation — fight or flight.

Not because the person is being dramatic or reactive, but because the body physiologically must move energy upward and outward to return to life.

This means that when someone starts to come out of freeze — especially after giving up an addiction that kept them numb — they don’t drop into calmness. They drop into activation.

And that activation takes one of two forms:

• Flight (rushing, escaping, getting ahead of the feelings)

• Fight (controlling, pushing, forcing, powering through)

This is not regression. It’s not “them being difficult.” It’s not resistance.

It is the phase between shutdown and regulation.

The phase where they come alive again.

When someone is pushing for the finish line, they are not being impatient — they are mobilising out of freeze.

The urgency is the bridge between being frozen and being free.

1. The Flight Pathway — Rushing to Escape Discomfort**

1. The Flight Pathway — Rushing to Escape Discomfort

This is urgency that comes from avoidance. It’s driven by fear of what might be felt if things slow down.

Flight energy sounds like:

• “If I stop, I’ll fall apart.”

• “I can’t sit in this.”

• “I need this done now.”

• “Just get me to the outcome.”

This pattern pushes someone toward the finish line because movement feels safer than stillness.

Underneath it is the belief:

“If I stay in motion, I don’t have to feel what’s underneath.”

2. The Fight Pathway — Rushing to Stay in Control

This urgency isn’t about escaping emotion — it’s about avoiding powerlessness.

Fight energy sounds like:

• “I will make this happen.”

• “I’m not stopping.”

• “I won’t be helpless again.”

• “Why is this taking so long?”

It shows up as:

• frustration

• force

• impatience

• controlling behaviours

• pushing the process too hard

The underlying belief is:

“If I keep pushing, I stay in control — and control keeps me safe.”

Why this matters

Both pathways rush the process. But the medicine is different.

• Flight needs slowing, grounding, titration, safety.

• Fight needs predictability, agency, co-regulation, relational trust.

When we name the pathway accurately, we meet the client where they truly are — not where their behaviour appears to be.

Recovery Pacing Journalling Page

A reflective page to support integration and nervous-system safety.

1. Where am I right now?

(Circle or highlight)

• 🟠 Flight energy (I want to move fast / get ahead)

• 🔴 Fight energy (I feel pressured, frustrated, controlling, or forceful)

• 🔵 Freeze energy (I feel stuck / overwhelmed)

• 🟢 Grounded energy (I feel steady and present)

• ⚪ Not sure yet

2. Body Check-In

What sensations do I notice right now?

If my body could speak one sentence, it would say:

3. What am I trying to move toward at speed?

4. What am I afraid might happen if I slow down?

5. A Moment of Grounding

Choose one:

• 🌿 3 slow breaths

• 🌊 Feel feet on the earth

• ☀️ Notice 3 things you can see & 3 you can hear

• 🐎 Visualise placing a hand on a calm horse’s shoulder and syncing your breath with theirs

What shifted?

6. A More Sustainable Pace for Today Would Be…

7. Message to Myself

A reminder to return to:

Weekly Pace Tracker

Mark one symbol for each day:

• 🐢 Slowing and grounding

• 🐎 Controlled, steady movement

• 🦌 Flight energy, fast and alert

Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun

Closing Reflection

What did I learn about myself today?

A Final Note from Me

The urge to rush is not a flaw — it is a trauma imprint. It’s your body trying to protect you the only way it knows how. In recovery, we don’t eliminate this pattern; we teach the system a new rhythm. A new pace. A new way of being with the self.

This is the heart of Hurihanga — transformation through grounded, embodied, relational healing.

So often my clients say to me, I get what you say... and I see reels and blogs that say all this stuff, but I still haven't changed how I think. These journaling prompts are to help you make that change. And if you still can't, and that is normal, please reach out. You are not supposed to navigate life alone.